Room for Romance

How to create a master bedroom that inspires romance and intimate connections.

Did you know that science has revealed five distinct pathways or gates through which you create deeper bonds and profound memories with others? Each “Sense Gate” allows input to transcend the physical, affecting one's soul and spirit. Consequently, there is a spiritual aspect to everything we do in the physical. Since we are spirit beings wrapped in flesh, our bodies are how ‘information’ is created, collected, and stored; the great news is that we can choose to positively impact ourselves and others through this gate.

I encourage you to spend some focused time with your spouse considering and discussing each one of the five ‘gates’ and some new ways they can be harnessed to enhance your intimate interactions and connection. Little changes can make BIG differences, but change can be hard, so take your time and have fun!

1. Eyes/Sight—The things we look upon drive the focus of our hearts and influence our moods, opinions, and beliefs. Would you like to feel more tranquil? Consider a soft neutral, blue, or green color palette, and eliminate clutter. Would you like to feel more passion? Consider dramatic color palettes like black, red, and gold. Would you like to feel more luxurious? Consider incorporating some high-end textured fabrics (even if it’s just accent pillows and a throw). Would you like to limit distractions? Consider eliminating all photos of parents, children, and friends and incorporating pictures of you and your spouse (especially romantic or fond moments). Would you like to ‘set the mood’ for love-making? Consider exchanging your standard lamp bulbs for red bulbs, lighting candles throughout, or installing string lights overhead. Would you like to add a little excitement or fun? Consider wearing something sexy that your spouse will take pleasure seeing you in.

2. Ears/Hearing- Words, music, and ambient sounds impact our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. In addition, when sounds are part of an experience, they can become permanent reference points for future recollection. For example, If you enjoy listening to a favorite song or musician while making love, you will be reminded of that experience every time you hear it/). If you aren’t in the habit of playing background music while enjoying love-making sessions, consider creating a playlist that you and your spouse will enjoy; if you have children or relatives living at home, or if you live in a community setting, consider playing ambient music for added privacy, or to drown out unwanted sounds that may create distractions.

3. Body/Touch/Physical: What/Who/How we touch can have dramatic and tangible impacts on ourselves and others by leaving indelible imprints on every aspect of our being. Have you considered and discussed how you and your partner prefer to be touched? Some may prefer a firm touch or hold over a soft one. Some may not like a specific area or place on their body to be touched; this can be due to past trauma or existing pain sensations. Touching can convey all sorts of feelings and emotions, too. Consider the difference between touch that expresses affection and desire versus touch that conveys aversion and disinterest. Are you and your partner touching each other honestly and with integrity? Is your touch authentically conveying how you feel, and are you honoring your partner’s feelings too? Experimenting with various touch sensations can be another way to deepen intimacy and increase overall satisfaction. You may also consider adding sumptuous bedding (like silk, velvet, and fur) and foreplay fun with warming oils/lubricants, feather ticklers, vibrators, etc., to explore this gate further.

4. Nose/Smell- Scents highly impact mood and create lasting memories attached to emotions. We have been utilizing scents to perfume our bodies for thousands of years, and we are still doing it today with even more technology behind the fragrance blends. Some producers, like Booty Parlor infuse their intimate care and beauty products with pheromones. Others, like Lànua offer naturally flavored lubricants created with top-quality plant-based ingredients that smell yummy. And, Rosebud Woman has earned thousands of 5* reviews for their Signature Skincare Formulations that leave intimate skin feeling and smelling divine. Consider trying a new fragrance or incorporating a new product into your beauty/self-care regime. Another easy way to engage your nose gate is by using scented candles or an essential oil diffuser prior to lovemaking sessions.

5. Mouth/Taste/Speech—The mouth gate is a profound source of life, influence, and power (one that is traditionally quite challenging to control). We engage our mouths just moments after we are born to express emotion, acquire nutrients, and bond with our mothers, and the vast array of verbal expressions and flavors to experience are potentially infinite. So, how do we engage the mouth gate more creatively in the bedroom? That’s just it! Be creative. You may consider weaving the occasional slow morning into your routine to include a romantic breakfast in bed. Or you may consider a decadent foreplay session to include champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. Whatever you decide to do, remeber your ‘why’ for doing it… to increase the depth and quality of your intimate connection, which always creates deeper love bonds that will last a lifetime.